Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Margaret Mead
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. Mark Twain
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. Jim Carrey
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Walking down the street, a man hears a voice: “Stop! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down and kill you.”
The man stopped; a big brick fell in front of him. The astonished man continued walking to the cross walk.
The voice shouted, “Stop! If you take one more step, a car will run over you and you will die.”
The man stood still; a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.
“Where are you?” the man asked. “Who are you?”
“I am your guardian angel,” the voice answered.
“Oh yeah?” the man asked. “Where the hell were you when I got married last week?”